Revival

Until it took me so far 
Down into the bowels 
That wept for themselves,
And all the wishes in the world
Were given me and I,
Too full of excrement
To want it wished instead 
For less.

And all the signs grew silent then
And all the light grew dim.
And all the loathing in the world,
I buried in my skin.

It happened while I dragged
My head along the sullied
Ground I'd chosen
For myself that a small earthy bit
Of wall did fall
And leave behind it
One small earthy, dusty beam of light
My eyes could nearly 
Focus on.

With all the will I'd left
To me, as I lay on the floor, 
I signaled toward the muffled voices
That I heard beyond the beam
And first one,
Then two, then four
Blessed pairs of hands did carry me
To standing first,
Then safety gave me

Strength enough to start the climb
Beyond the hell of one small world
Filled only with the smell of death
And lack of self, and lack of breath,
And lack, and lack.

And I will climb now toward the brightness of a life
I had no right to feel no right
To live.