Revival

Until it took me so far 
Down into the bowels 
That wept for themselves,
And all the wishes in the world
Were given me and I,
Too full of excrement
To want it wished instead 
For less.

And all the signs grew silent then
And all the light grew dim.
And all the loathing in the world,
I buried in my skin.

It happened while I dragged
My head along the sullied
Ground I'd chosen
For myself that a small earthy bit
Of wall did fall
And leave behind it
One small earthy, dusty beam of light
My eyes could nearly 
Focus on.

With all the will I'd left
To me, as I lay on the floor, 
I signaled toward the muffled voices
That I heard beyond the beam
And first one,
Then two, then four
Blessed pairs of hands did carry me
To standing first,
Then safety gave me

Strength enough to start the climb
Beyond the hell of one small world
Filled only with the smell of death
And lack of self, and lack of breath,
And lack, and lack.

And I will climb now toward the brightness of a life
I had no right to feel no right
To live.

Parallax

I didn't know you yesterday when you broke


My heart again just when 

I thought we'd had a break through

Like you no longer knew me or, more realistically,

You never have.

You spoke as if to someone else; another, meaner, 

Narcissistic girl with an inability to understand

The basics of communication,

Inventing a life and timeframe for me

That I wasn’t there for,

Nor, I’m sure,

Were you.

I do not know what happened

Or how it came about that you

Have come to see me in this way

And I know there are two sides to stories

And I know there are two sides to coins

But when you flipped mine for me

And called them for yourself,

Forgive me, I forgot to ask

To call them out myself

Because when I was young you told me

Clearly where I stood.

And when I finally asked,

I sort of knew how things would go.

Deep down I prayed for something new

But sometimes

Things don’t workout as they should.