Reality check

I have had recurring dreams for thirty-three-odd years
That jolt me from my sleep,
Too wound up for tears, but still, disoriented,
I have found myself alone.

Lately, though those dreams have kept
On keeping time with habit,
There is yet a presence, unexpected
That has caught me, upon waking,
With a gentle breath that dulls
The fear and now, I know, but do not trust
The knowing that
I'm not
Alone.

But yet, in these said dreams, there was
A piece that kept reminding me that I
Was not made for a normal life,
Nor fated for a long one. So,
It seems the dream has finally begun to creep
Into reality.

Ironically, though sure, I guard the toss and turn
As arduously as my nature does prescribe,
I find the crazy nature of my life
Requires, eventually, the strange reversal
Of this fate and forces me --
Despite my clear and non-demanding 
Stance that comes of years of never getting 
What I'd wanted or had hoped for 
(Please, believe, without regret) --
To stop.

Pause, and breathe, and look around
Me and take stock of what it is I have.
To most, most physically, that would be 
Nothing.
But, to me, it is the only thing
I need.
A heart, integrity,
The strength to keep on going and
The moment. Nothing else is real
And nothing else will ever be.

It all comes down to love.