Withdrawal

You can only withdraw from so many things 
At one time
Particularly when
This last thing got you through
The previous ones

Held you together like
Beautiful miracle string and reminded you 
That beauty 
And miracles
Were words in your world, too.

And just as things were getting rosy again,
It's all gone grey and
Too-bright like a headache
And a constant pain in my belly
That shoots to the heart.

I don't want to train my brain to 
Stop thinking of you
When I open my eyes or close them,
When I breathe in, or out,
And I'm tired of going without,
Especially when what I'm going without
I never had to begin with.

Oh, irony, my only life companion!
Can you please take a nap
So I can heal from healing 
From all the things that hurt?