Crossroad

How do I proceed
From what I am unable to define,
To recall exactly how
Or when or what
It became and what
It is, since it doesn't really exist
Anywhere but in my mind
And a few breathless close encounters
Of a maddening kind

And more frustratingly
In the heart.

If this were of the typical kind
Of affair to remember
Or forget, as affairs seem to tragically transpire,
Then why is all I can remember
A too-short night
Of innocent, almost teenaged sort
Fumbling over respect
And a sweetness and a force
That makes the whole damned thing
All the more curious
And all the more impossible
To define
And though I feel un-shored and
Scared out of my mind,
With just one glimpse of you
My will is soothed, yet invigorated,
And resigned

But to what?
How do you pursue a thing
You know just might destroy the life
Of who you care so much for,
Though in the end the burden
Truly will be borne by two
So now
The choice is hidden from skewed
View:
To proceed? Or to deny?
I wish I had the power
To comply
With what I thought was right and true
But now, all that I want --
All that I see, all that I hear --

Is you.